Ibiza

Ibiza has an image problem, and the image is San Antonio’s West End at 3am. That version of the island is real and it’s brilliant if it’s what you came for — but it’s a few streets on one bay, and the rest of Ibiza is something else entirely: a UNESCO-listed walled town in Dalt Vila, pine forests in the north, and a string of west-coast coves with water clear enough that people fly back just for it. The single most useful decision you’ll make is your base, because Ibiza Town, San Antonio, Santa Eulària and the north are effectively four different holidays sharing one small airport.

If clubbing is the point, go in with eyes open about the money. Entry to a big-name club like Pacha or Amnesia runs roughly £25–£70 depending on the DJ, drinks inside are £15–£18 a pop, and because everyone leaves at once the taxi home is its own small battle. One proper club night comfortably tops £100 a head before you’ve eaten. Buy tickets online ahead rather than at the door, use the summer Discobus between venues, and remember the clubs run a season — opening and closing parties bracket the year, so a quiet shoulder-month trip may find your venue shut.

And if clubbing isn’t the point, Ibiza quietly delivers one of the best beach-and-old-town weeks in the Med. Hire a car (you’ll want one by day three), work the calas — Comte for the sunset, Salada for snorkelling, Ses Salines by the salt flats — and take the half-hour ferry from Ibiza Town port over to Formentera, where Ses Illetes is the water everyone means when they call the Balearics Caribbean. Base in Santa Eulària or the north, time it for May, June or September, and you’ll have a hard job spotting the Ibiza of the postcards.